Living Someone Else’s Life

One morning last week around 4:00 a.m., groggy-eyed and avoiding the treadmill, I spent a little time reading through my FB news feed and ran across the following:

I came to the realization yesterday that I am living somebody else’s life, not my own. At least that’s how I feel. I need to change some things.

My first thought was, “We’re all living ‘somebody else’s’ life!” I think John would agree.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are … Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.
1 John 3:1-3

I’ve been saying it this way for awhile now: “I don’t belong here.” Apparently, I’m not the only one …

Sometimes it feels like I’m watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I’m breathing but am I alive
I won’t keep searching for answers that aren’t here to find

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I’m lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong
[x2]

Where I belong, where I belong
Where I belong, where I belong

Well, it’s not just that we aren’t ‘home’ yet, we aren’t ‘me’ yet. C.S. Lewis wrote:

It is a serious thing, to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship…

But it has not yet become apparent – visible, known – who I am becoming. I read another post on FB today by a dear friend who commented that a particular photo of her was ‘terrible.’ I thought to myself that if we understood what Lewis is talking about -really understood and believed – we would not be concerned in the least by what we see here, now, on the outside. This shell of a body will be left behind, and although we will one day be reunited with it, it will not be what we see and know now. I think Lewis is right in this sense: We are being changed into something that for us right now would be entirely unrecognizable.

Think about it this way, what does an acorn have in common with an oak tree? Can you by looking at an acorn even come close to perceiving what it will become (had you not seen the tree, of course)? No. In 2 Corinthians 5 Paul put it this way:

1 For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, 3 inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. 4 For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life.

The tent Paul is referring to is the body we are ‘trapped’ in (although I think it’s even more than that – we are trapped in forward, linear time, our memories can trap us, even our sins trap us and in that way we are bound by our very selves to something we often hate – a habit, a pattern, an addiction, so much that can keep us bound up). But like my friend, Paul experienced this groaning, this deep desire to become, to experience who and what he really is in Christ. I have felt this – seriously felt it, and more so as I grow older.

And yet, just the fact that I feel this disconnectedness with my true self – the mere fact that I so often hear “I don’t belong here” coming out of my mouth – assures me that there really is something out there, something so much more, something completely beyond my imagination! Else I would create it right here and now! It is out of my reach. And out of yours. But never out of God’s. In fact, this very thought often takes me past whatever is bothering me in the moment to the wonder of knowing the hope beyond hope we have waiting for us.

My friend, don’t change a thing, don’t try to change a thing! He is at work. The fact that you feel like you are living someone else’s life is proof that He is making you into something magnificent, spectacular, amazing beyond anything you can imagine or even desire! We think we know ourselves, but we couldn’t be more wrong. We have no clue.

The worst movie I’ve seen in the past 5 years had one of the best lines in it I could imagine. It was a movie about vampires who were seeking a cure. In the midst of one of the conversations, one of the characters remarked,

Life’s a bitch, and then you don’t die.

I literally laughed out loud! I thought how true that was – my worst nightmare would be if this life is all there is.

Then the Lord God said, ‘Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever’ – therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.
Genesis 3:22-24

Lest you have fallen for the lie that God kicked man from the Garden of Eden as punishment, I am here to tell you the Truth: Sending man from the Garden was the ultimate GRACE – protection against being stuck in our sin for all of eternity. Mercy, God-style. 🙂 If you aren’t tired of yourself and the constant battle in your mind and life, you won’t understand anything I am talking about. But if you are like me, sick to death of your body of death, then you are looking forward with joyful anticipation to seeing what you will become! John went so far as to say that the hope itself purifies us – makes us like Him.

Hope in the Bible does not have the meaning we use today. When we say ‘hope’ in our day, we could easily substitute the word ‘wish.’ But when the writers of the Bible wrote the word ‘hope’ they were talking about something secure to stand on, something you could actually hold on to, something very real and not a wish at all. But holding on to hope requires discipline. Serious mental discipline. It would be so much easier to let go of hope and sink into the mire of our present ‘reality.’ After all, what does an acorn know of becoming an oak? Absolutely nothing. Wait, maybe the acorn does know something about becoming an oak: it hurts like hell.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24

There’s only one thing the acorn has to do to become an oak: fall to the ground and die. In our case too, death is required. So the next time you are frustrated with your situation, the next time you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers out of your control, the next time you cry out in frustration because that thing you used to do just showed up again – turn to your hope and hang on for dear life: It has not yet become apparent who we will become…

… but just as it is written, “ THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD, AND HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN, ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

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