A Little Zooeyness Goes a Long Way

I’m late, I know. The contest ended 8 days ago. That’s okay, I don’t really want any Vegan muffins I invented this word 25 years ago. Wait, that makes you late. Oh, well, better Nate than lever late than never.

College students have it made, but they don’t realize it. I did not know this until 6-months into a secretarial job when I was late for work and felt the daggers coming out of my boss’s eyes, threatening silently to fire me for my first 10-second infraction.

Complaining about 8 a.m. classes, 3-hour lectures given in monotone, and 50-page papers are par for the college course and provide my favorite example of the truism “youth is wasted on the young.” The college years tend to be marked by rebellion free thinking. That must have been what I was doing when I invented the word zooey, ‘thinking freely’. (At least that’s what I tell myself. I was probably thinking about how the guy I had a crush on really looked like a baboon since he was ignoring me. Baboons live in zoos. He probably did too.)

But you didn’t stop by my blog to hear about my disastrous college love life. You came here to find out if I was capable of putting words together into coherent sentences inventing a word. Here goes:

Zooey (adjective) \ˈzü-ē\ 1) General craziness; 2) The giggling insanity you feel when your life is completely out of control; 3) What it would feel like if you found yourself trapped in the orangutan lion’s den at your local zoo.

RELIEF! I finally have a concrete definition for a word I have had to explain for the past 25 years every time I’ve used it in a sentence! (That would be twice, post college.) The burden has been lifted – free at last, I’m free at last!!

Which is more than I can say for you if ever you try to use my word in a blog coherent sentence (sans my permission, of course). I guarantee you will awaken the next day to find

in your bedroom. Which may be a plus for some of you (I’ve read your blogs and this is my conclusion).

My second conclusion (after running a Google search to make certain my word has not been entered into the dictionary yet) would, of course, be that although

her name

(pron.: /ˈz.i) may be spelled the same, Deschanel is completely unrelated to orangutans.

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